Last Neanderthals Podcast
Stories that shape futures. Last Neanderthals is a podcast dedicated to learning, evolving and becoming our best selves. Evolve with us!
Last Neanderthals Podcast
University Survival Guide: Tips for Success and Stress-Free Living
Ever wondered how to master university life and set yourself up for success? Join us on this episode of the Last Neanderthals podcast as Khushal, a KCL graduate, and I, a third-year PPE student at the University of Liverpool, share our tried-and-true strategies for navigating the academic and social maze of university. From maintaining consistent study habits to gamifying your learning experience, we promise actionable tips that will help you stay focused, productive, and balanced.
University isn't just about hitting the books; it's also about thriving in a new social environment. We dive deep into the art of forming authentic relationships, offering insights on how to avoid the pitfalls of being overly accommodating while still being genuinely kind. Discover the importance of joining societies, participating in sports, and asking meaningful questions to build a strong social network. Our advice highlights the value of being genuine, proactive, and patient in making friends and setting boundaries in shared living spaces.
Living with housemates can be both rewarding and challenging. We share our personal experiences and offer practical advice on how to choose housemates wisely, communicate effectively, and set clear boundaries to ensure a harmonious living environment. Wrapping up, we share the concept of living "life on easy mode" through the example of Wally, encouraging you to aim for a stress-free university experience. Tune in for a comprehensive guide to mastering university life, filled with personal anecdotes, practical tips, and a positive outlook.
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Welcome back to the Last Neanderthals podcast. So Khushal's a KCL graduate, smart guy. I'm currently studying at the University of Liverpool, studying PPE in my third year, and we're just going to talk about our uni experience because we know a lot of you will be going into first year in a couple of weeks and any advice we have we'll share with you all of that stuff. So, khushal, what's five pieces of advice you have for everyone going into uni this year, and even people going into third year, second year, whatever most serious year.
Speaker 2:My advice would be do little but do more often. Don't be that guy that puts off work right to last minute. There's you can get ill, anything can happen. Stress you don't get as much support as that you have available throughout the year. I know you feel demotivated, but this is why you gotta do little but more often. Consistency over intensity. Honestly, it's life-changing.
Speaker 2:So I basically what I did at university is I set myself to our target. The days I would work on the circle. In the days I won't work, I would do a cross and I gamified my experience. So I would just do this challenge with a friend. I was like in one month, let's say you know, if I get more circles than wally, he will have to. You know, I don't know, buy me boxing gloves or things of that nature. You can make it fun like you.
Speaker 2:Look at duolingo. I know it's not the best at teaching you how to study, but it keeps people hooked. Why does it keep people hooked? Because it gamifies the experience. So the algorithms that instagram uses, how they gamify your experience other platforms as well. You got to implement that in your own studies. I think whoop does that really well as well. You know how you get like the data, how well you slept, things like that. So when you've seen that you got bad sleep, you want to sleep on time. So, yeah, yeah, do little and do more often. That's first one. Second one I already mentioned gamify your learning experience.
Speaker 2:The number three would be avoid the distraction. So you know a university, a lot of these kids. They want to be the popular kids and you know they want to be involved in the drama and the gossip. I think it's a really waste of time. I think a lot of it is like removing the distractions. You know how people were like oh, I want to succeed, I want to do more. A lot of it. You just need to say no to things. You don't have to go to every party. You don't have to go to every social gathering. You don't have to. You know, say yes to everything. Like don't be a yes man, prioritize yourself and cut the bs out, like if you're consuming content too much online, all of these things. If you cut things out and you avoid the distractions, I think that's most of it.
Speaker 1:To honest, it's really important in first year to build foundations for your second and third year, because I know for us, the first year doesn't count as our final degree. However, it's still important to lay the roots and kind of get in a routine as well. Figure out what you're going to do for the next two years, how you're going to cope with now living out on your own for the first time, which most people will be doing, maybe cooking for the first time for yourself, doing all of these responsibilities as well as getting an education and, I think, balancing that with focusing on your health, going to the gym these kinds of things are really important to experiment with in first year and figure out what sort of routine works best for you. Are you someone who would go to the gym before uni and then go to uni, or are you someone who do that after? And I think getting involved in like clubs and like sports teams, things like that, can help with that too, because it can give your week structure if you have to go to training on a particular day and things like that.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, I think that's really important as well, and if you want to have fun at uni, then definitely go for it. It's important to sort of and make friends, um, and not just be stressed all the time and 24 7, thinking about work. However, I think you're spending nine grand a year to get an education, so it's important to put that money to use, or else it's such a big waste, um. So, yeah, have your fun and whatever, but get a structure, get a routine, um, so that you can succeed and be like khushal, who is now a graduate can?
Speaker 2:I can add something to that yeah one of the most important things you mentioned is joining societies and things of that nature. You're not just paying nine grand for a degree Like that's not enough. I think getting involved in societies and things of that nature is going to help you so much in your future because, especially in the recession that we're going through, experience is everything and if you have experience, if you've been involved with projects, if you've been involved in projects and you understand the human skills and negotiations and just running a society or whatever it is, working with other people, that goes a long way. Honestly, that's the type of things they look at when you're, when they are hiring you after university. Just degrees and enough they're looking at.
Speaker 2:You know can you solve problems, can you handle constructive criticism, and these are skills you will learn them at. You know societies. You'll make mistakes and the consequences are not that big. You know as as they are at work. So getting that like foot in the door, it's like a little. It's like a little um little step into the real world. Societies are um. So I think that is such a because society for me. I was the vice president and events manager of theology and religious studies society, honestly, life changed it and you know the part, like we on the first squid game event, social speaking, like public speaking. I did interviewing and you know recently I was involved in a oxford summer camp and I was able to speak so well because of all that experience I had at university and you know the feedback was great but it was all that work you know that added to me eventually speaking at oxford.
Speaker 1:So I think joining society is, you know it's essential, you know, to get more start of your education yeah, and I think another thing that's important to just expect going into uni is it's not like college and school, where your teachers kind of help you at every step along the way. There's a lot of individual work that needs to go into it, hours that you have to put into it yourself, uh, to really get a good grade. So I think it's important to keep that in mind as well when you're going into uni. Um, maybe some of the lecturers might not even be so great, so in those cases you have to put in even more effort to get the grade you want so that actually links to my fourth point is like make most of the resources.
Speaker 2:I I was stuck getting like scraping two ones, and how I ended up getting first in more most of my assignment was literally just seeing my teachers at least three times per essay. I made that like a strong habit of principle that I have to do this and that was the game changer, because every teacher is kind of looking for something different. They have their own like ideal, like structural essay. They're looking for certain readings that they want you to use. Sometimes, like teachers are happy for you to, for example, use youtube videos, but other teachers it's a no-go for them. You know they want that, that particular reading list that you've been assigned. So if you know things like that, if you like, literally just tell them. Like you know what this is, this what my central argument is going to be. You know you can ask them for advice how you can back it, even if your argument isn't valid. They will tell you there, instead of your foundation being wrong, your whole process of thinking being incorrect.
Speaker 2:You write an essay, you put in hours and hours of work into it and then you end up getting a 2-2 or fail. So I think seeing your teachers at least three times should be every, at least once or twice. Every at least once or twice, at least once or twice. You have to do that. Um, yeah, that's that. That was my fourth point. Basically, anything else you would like to add to that?
Speaker 1:no, yeah, I think that's that's a very good point. It's very important to just get their feedback because, at the end of the day, these, the kind of subjects that we're doing um, a lot of it is very subjective, so it really depends on who's marking it and, uh, if you get an insight from that person in regards to what exactly they're looking for and what they want from you, then it's going to make your life so much easier. Imagine going down a rabbit hole and then, uh, the you speak to the lecturer and they say they're not even interested in that, or they don't even want to know about that, or it's not relevant, and you'd rather find that out than do that write the essay. And then afterwards, uh, in your feedback, they tell you no, it's not good enough.
Speaker 2:40 fail, try again next time and then you're capped in the next time if you don't have mitigating circumstances yeah that's crazy did you?
Speaker 1:uh, in our uni, I think I don't even know if it's possible to fail like an essay or an assignment like that. Was that possible in?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's possible, yes yeah, some people fail them. Um, you can. You can fail an essay. It can very easily happen if you don't do your readings and you don't see your teachers very easily I think in our uni you I've not heard of anyone who's failed an essay.
Speaker 1:But the issue with essays is it's very difficult to get those high grades Like to cross the boundary into. Getting a first is quite difficult, like you can't get 90%, for example, on an essay, which would bump your grade up for the others. But you can write a really good essay and still get 67 68. You can write an amazing essay and get like 74 max, probably so it's very difficult.
Speaker 1:It's very difficult to get past that first um border. So yeah, you do have to really try your best. For me I've got uh economics, which you can get like the 90 and stuff and to kind of help, but with essays it's really difficult, so you do need to put the time in. In my opinion, and any coursework you get, like presentations and stuff. I've found that they can be really helpful because the teachers uh are more willing to give higher grades in that. So if you spend a lot of time in that and perfect them, that can really bump your grade up to 100 percent.
Speaker 2:Um, you know, if you get like 78 percent, that's like almost publishable level. That's what they said.
Speaker 2:I think, yeah, if you bring those kind of marks and I know some kids who got like above 80. So, yeah, insane man, insane. But yeah, it's a subject I mean this is a subjective subject, so you know these are difficult to get good grades on. My fifth advice would be is to ask questions Like you're not in university to you're not there because you know it all. You're there to learn and don't go with this like inferiority and superiority complex that you know actually more of superiority complex that you want to show how smart you are, which is what I was guilty of and it came from a sense of inferiority because I wanted to prove a point. That to myself, really, that okay, I'm smart enough and I can be. You know I do belong at this university because I was given predicted grades and I got into King's that way because of COVID, so you know that put a chip on my. I started getting two ones in first and then you know that kind of went away. But because I was always a student who was sharing his ideas in the class and yeah, they were great, like the teacher appreciated them and you know I contributed.
Speaker 2:But I think where my learning increased the most is when I asked questions about things I didn't know. You know, when I became more focused on asking questions rather than flexing, how much I know. So I think asking questions is so, so important. Like Socrates, you know, said it the best the only thing I know for certain is I know nothing. So I think, going with that humility is extremely important for learning, and you know, if you guys know what Socratic method is, that it's all about asking questions in order to arrive at knowledge, or realizing the lack of knowledge you have. You can find out through questioning.
Speaker 1:What is the Socratic method?
Speaker 2:So the Socratic method is that if someone has like a proposition, you can. So what he used to do, he used to have a dialogue with politicians and through asking them a series of questions, they would end up contradicting themselves. So that was actually the Socratic method. So it was question after question. So if you said, you know, if I said, oh, what's the meaning of life, you're like, oh, it's to be Ubermensch. And like the niche, I mean like why? And then you will give me an answer. Then I'll be like, oh, why is that? You know things like that, right? Like, oh, for example, utilitarianism, you're like, oh, the things that are moral is the one that you know gives the most pleasure to the greatest amount of number of people. But I was like what if it's evil people? Do you get what I'm saying? And I will keep on questioning. You'll give me answers and I'll keep on questioning, keep on questioning until you reach your contradiction or until you give me a valid answer. I guess maybe there is no end to it. And I mean, when you look at science, you're doing an investigation. It starts with a sense of question, you're trying to figure. You like that's the base, that's the foundation of knowledge. It starts with a question.
Speaker 2:So I think improving that skill like, for example, for us to you know, run, running this project, and a lot of it has been just questions. Okay, how do we find ourselves? What do we want to talk about? That's how you then arrive to good conversations, when we ask each other the right questions, and that's how it leads to a nuance and a complex conversation. Um, that can genuinely be beneficial and of value to people. So I think asking questions is incredibly important, important. People don't do that enough. That's why, like so, there's so much division in the world. Because they see things on media and they see a headline and they just believe it. They don't have any critical thinking. So I think asking questions is super important. If you're going with the mentality that you know it all, honestly, you are wasting your money uh, you're wasting your parents money, most importantly and you're wasting your time. Get out again. If, if, the if, the whole goal is to just make money, you uni can't help with that, but you're somewhat in the wrong place get an apprenticeship or something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, moving on from the education advice, um, let's talk more about the social stuff.
Speaker 2:So I was gonna. Yeah, sorry, that was my question to you. How do you make friends, willie?
Speaker 1:I've got a question for you, my friend. Okay, so you need to tell them like how not to be that guy. And you know, I mean everyone knows what I mean. So give me a couple advice on like how just don't be that guy. You know, I mean, if someone's going into uni and I had to tell them I don't be that guy, what type of guy would you tell the listeners not to be?
Speaker 2:don't be the guy who's thirsty and needy for women. You know it's not a love island. Don't be the guy who gossips like don't chat, don't say things behind people back honestly, you'll get exposed for it. It will go around. There were some people who gossiped behind my back and it didn't end well for them.
Speaker 1:They just ruined their own integrity that sounds like you took them out. No, no, I didn't go well for them.
Speaker 2:No, no. But it's like if someone has integrity and some you, because you're jealous of them or because you just you're hurt and you want to hurt other people, it's really going to end bad for you. You're going to have no friends. Um, don't be, don't beg it. You know, be yourself. I would say um, if people like you, they like your activities and what you do, what you stand for, that will come across. But you know, don't be needy, don't force, try to make friends. It's a matter of when, not if. If you're going to make friends, right, if you put yourself out there, you give good to these societies. But if you're just begging it, you're constantly hitting up people.
Speaker 2:There were so many needy people at university that just that constantly want to hang out and we can't say no to them. So also, don't be a yes man. I think a lot of people at university are just yes men, because they're looking for that approval. They've left their homes, they're in a new country, you know. They're around adults, they feel like they're, you know they're entering the real world, um, and they just want to please everyone. So don't please everyone. I think those are three main things. What would you say to you. Know what I'm going to ask? Flip the questions. How can you be that? How can you be him or her? You know?
Speaker 1:um well, I think the most important step is to just be a good, a nice person, and, and then people will like you. You'll make friends. There's a difference to being a good and nice person, though, and being like a beg, like you said. Be a nice person, to be a nice person, to do good things, to be kind, to help people. Don't do it just to make friends or just to get some sort of favours in return. Do it just because it's the right thing to do, and if you take that approach, then people will come towards you. They'll want to be your friends and, on top of that, join societies, take part in sports, talk to people not in lectures you should be listening to the lecturer but outside lectures, when you're waiting to go in, like just socialize. It's the worst that can happen is maybe someone doesn't want to talk and then you stop talking to them. Oh well, like it's not really a big deal. But, yeah, just get to know as many people as you can, I think, especially if you're moving into halls and things like that. Get to know as many people as you can, I think, especially if you're moving into halls and things like that. Get to know your flatmates, get to know the people around you and, yeah, find people you like. There's no rush to do that in uni because it's hard. You get put in this group of people to live with. They might not be your people, but you will eventually find someone. If you keep going to things that you're interested in, you'll find other people who are interested in the same things as well, and that's why societies are so important. If you're interested in football, you'll find other people who are interested in that, and then on your degree and your course as well. This is why it's so important important to speak to people, like outside lectures or socializing seminars when you have these group activities, because they're the people who are doing the same thing as you. They can not only help you in your degree, but the likelihood is they'll also be interested in similar topics. For example, if you're studying politics, they'll be interested in politics as well. So this is important to, yeah, talk to people.
Speaker 1:One thing that I did want to kind of touch on is the needy thing. You said, yes, like don't be that needy friend, but it's difficult because there are a lot of people who are lonely at uni. So even if your friend is coming off as needy like it's. I think it's still important to be there for them and help them out and try and like talk to them, basically maybe figure out if something's going wrong because people have moved away from their family, they're living on their own and there are like tough uh part of uni you have to like budget for the first time in your life, which for most people might not seem like a big deal, but as an 18 year old it could be like cooking, cleaning, doing your laundry. For some people will be their first time doing all all of this stuff because they've been kind of sheltered their whole life and raised with a silver spoon. However, still, those people still deserve help and friends and things like that.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, just help people where you can well, how do you go about having those conversations, like one of the burning questions I had for you. Let's say you're living with a couple of people and they're very dirty. They don't wash the dishes. How do you approach that conversation?
Speaker 1:How do you approach that conflict of interest? I would just ask them, I don't know. I think if you know the person and you talk to the person already and you don't do it in an aggressive, confrontational manner, I don't think it's a big deal to just say, oh it's getting really messy in here, or something like that Shall we wash up, and then you go wash.
Speaker 2:You don't really talk to them, though they're your flatmates. They're one of those flatmates that you barely speak to.
Speaker 1:They're a bit in their bubble. They keep it to themselves and they're not. They're dirty, yeah I. I just bring it up and be like oh, let's. Uh, there's like a lot of mess piling up, so we clean it.
Speaker 2:I'll be like yo. Are you five huh? Do you want me to parent you?
Speaker 1:I'm joking no, yeah, everything you do, you need to make sure you don't do it in a contra confrontational way and don't be like the person that's like chatting behind their back and then saying it like have the conversation with them first and then, if it doesn't work, then there's nothing you can do yeah, it's an unfortunate circumstance, but you can't force someone yeah, just don't become like them, because you will be surrounded by a lot of destruction, like I said earlier, whether it's people taking next level drugs, being involved in very shady activities, things of that nature.
Speaker 2:And you know, don't don't be a product of environment in a negative way. I know it's easier said than done, but if you join the right societies, you surround yourself around the correct people. That won't happen. Um, but you said something very interesting that some people are. They will come across as needy and things of that nature. Um, and yes, one should show grace and empathy. Um, but how do you again draw that boundary with them? Because I I encountered some people like that, but then they constantly want your time. They can't. They clingy man, they follow you. It's like. It's like you know how a chick it's like what you do with me.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man, you know how I like holly, you know, when you want to check, when a chicken lays a, lays an egg and the chicks like just follow them, yeah, or anything this yeah um, yeah that that is a tricky situation you just need to encourage you need to encourage them to make their own friends and other friends.
Speaker 1:I think, and I think if you do that, then they can share some of that responsibility. And it's not nice to call a person a burden, but like if you are that person, you can genuinely become a burden on someone else, because not only do they have their own stuff going on, but if you're always like clinging on to them and always asking, they're taking on your burden in a sense as well. So try your best not to be that guy. It can be difficult for people, but try your best. And if your friend is that guy, just encourage them to make more friends, like, but wave, wave.
Speaker 2:They're like don't want to make any more friends and they love you, and like they also get jealous because you make other friends.
Speaker 1:Sounds like you have a stalker, then, bro, that sounds a bit like a bit of a problem.
Speaker 2:I know some women that have gone through this at uni that they get, yeah, and it's cool as well. Mainly happens in school, but like if the best friend is becoming friends with other people, they they feel threatened that oh, I've kind of seen that like school and not school, more so, colleges are people.
Speaker 1:People get jealous. Um, there's nothing you can do. You just have to tell them like, listen, this is my boundary, you've got to accept it, bro Deal.
Speaker 2:Or no deal, that's what you're going to say to them. This is my boundary. You've just got to accept it, bro.
Speaker 1:Yeah, deal or no deal, Take it or leave it? No, you've got to set your boundaries.
Speaker 2:You've got to set your boundaries, You've got to just say I'm just say I'm not comfortable with this.
Speaker 1:You're an adult. Now, if you can take on all the other responsibilities of adults that you like and you want to, these are the ones that you don't like. You still have to take them on as well. You have to tell people what your boundaries are, um, and if people cross those boundaries, you have to let them know. Like this cat, like this carries on like something's gotta happen, bro, either you've got to leave or I've got to leave that's sarcasm right there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like no, it's not to an extent as well if they are.
Speaker 1:If someone don't say it like that. Obviously yeah, but of course like becoming a baggage.
Speaker 2:They they have mad mental health problems and they think that you're their therapist. Then that's very problematic. You gotta, I don't know, especially if you meet someone new and they're like trauma dumping on you and they're relying on you heavily. They got like daddy or mama issues, like you gotta be. You got, either either they take your advice and you can see like you know what, like they're changing and they're genuinely trying, but if they Are just using you as a crutch, protect your peace of mind Because you got problems, you got goals to achieve. Seriously, what are you gonna do? Try to save them and try to take on a project. That stuff is hard, man bro.
Speaker 1:I've I, I I, you've done that, so what was your experience?
Speaker 2:from that. Well, if they don't want to change, I think you can just, I guess, give your wisdom, your own experience and guide, but you shouldn't, you shouldn't expect them to change because you said something to them Like the words is, like you got to see their actions. If they if, let's say, you're going through, let's say you got really bad habits and stuff like that, but you're genuinely trying and I can see you're trying yeah, of course I'll stick by you. But if you're becoming trying and I can see you're trying, yeah, of course I'll stick by you. But if you're becoming a bad person and slowly and slowly you're becoming, actually you know you're getting further.
Speaker 2:Like our values are not aligning anymore, principles are not aligning anymore. I don't know you're taking drugs, you're just being ultra hedonistic, you're mean to people. You're talking behind people's back. You'll be talking behind my back. I'll have a chat with you a couple of times like yo, what's happening? Like you know, please talk to me. But if you're still going to go and continue to self-sabotage, you know I can't, like I can't save you if you don't want to save yourself I mean, allah says this who saved themselves? So you know, yeah, but I'll make it, I'll communicate it to you, though I won't like just give you a show. I'll be like literally like welly, like if these things don't change, like I don't see us being like compatible in our friendship. Like you know, how are we gonna work this out?
Speaker 1:yeah, you need to. The communication is the most important thing, and you don't have to be friends with everyone. You'll find those people that actually like, align with you and you should be friends with. You. Don't need this massive circle of friends and everyone knows you and everyone likes you. That's very, very unnecessary and this is why you shouldn't like rush it and try and force it, because you will eventually. Uni is a big place. You will eventually find people that you truly like and truly get on with, so there's no point trying to fit into a show circle that doesn't really align with you. They like to do other things. You like to do other things. They talk about other things. You talk about other things. Just separate yourself from that.
Speaker 1:In my opinion, um, don't try and be somebody you're not, because it will always result in just you being unhappy and unfulfilled in your friendships whenever you're spending time with them. You won't really enjoy it, um, and I think that comes from people coming out of school and college where they've been in this one situation. They're like one town or city their whole life and it's like a fresh start. So people are like scared and they cling on to the first few people they find, but you need to be really careful that you don't do that, because what are the chances? The first few people you find are going to be the people who are like, your best friends, who are meant to like, who align with your values and everything like that as well yeah, well, wasn't the case with me, to be honest no, when did you?
Speaker 1:when did you make your friends at uni?
Speaker 2:uh, two, three months after, but it was the first year over there, but your second year mainly, where I actually started making a good set of friends.
Speaker 1:Um that, my values aligned with um, and it can take even longer than two, three months. So, yeah, just don't worry. The only issue with uni is how people have to find their like housemates for next year so quickly, like you're going to uni in september and then by december you have to decide who you're living with for the next year, which is ridiculous.
Speaker 2:I've got a piece of advice for them. Okay, so, before you move in with someone, my dad gave me this advice and it actually changed my housemate experience, my experience with my housemate Elias. Me and him weren't close. We were best friends then, but we weren't that close back then, closer like we're best friends now, but we weren't that close back then.
Speaker 2:And, um, my dad told me that, to tell Elias that if you have any bad habits, things of that nature or anything I do, that's you know, it's it's not good, he should point it out and you know and he was like that, also set the precedence that you can do the same for him. If he has bad habit he doesn't clean his dishes, he's throwing random parties, he's bringing in random people without your consent, things of that nature Then he establishes that boundary. And, honestly, that's the first thing I did, and Elias is a great guy, he said the same thing. If there's anything that's also Not right with me the case that I can be too serious all the time, things of that nature, you know then let me know. And whenever he had those bad habits, I could just point out and he never took it like he, he never became defensive or I didn't become defensive because we had set the. You know, we had set the, the boundaries from the get-go. So I think, setting the right boundaries from the get-go and actually like a, it should be like an interview process, like when I, when I, moved in the third year with a complete, this new set of people, we literally asked each other like you know what you are, what's your lifestyle, like what you expect, like, and again, drawing these boundaries like you know, like taking on accountability and you know when you're trying to buy houses with them.
Speaker 2:Uh, one of the things my really good friend tarun did was actually give all of us responsibility because he was taking me, take care of, like getting the rental property. So he would tell me to do the bill, the bill stuff, the electricity and stuff like that. He would tell my other flatmate to do other activities, um sorry, other tasks that needed to be done. So that way, like they kind of already learned, you already kind of learned that, okay, are these serious candidates? You know how quickly they reply in group chat, things like that. Test people, man. I think it's not really like you're using them when it's not not a negative thing. I think you actually need to kind of test people whether they're the right people for you. You know, because you've been living a whole year with them, and if they're shady, you know. If you can't trust them, brother, you'd rather live on your own, yeah it is.
Speaker 1:It is just difficult in that first year because of how quick it does happen. Like I said, september you start uni, like late september, it's usually around like 20th of september or something um, and then by december you have to like finalize where you're living for most people. So where you're living for most people. So that's just such a short timeline, like you cannot really know someone in three months or whatever it is. But it it doesn't really matter if, let's say, you're living in a house of six people. If you don't get along with everyone, it's not that important. But for um the year after, I think you should try your best to take the steps that kashal said and like get to know people's habits, um, to figure out if they're really the people you want to live with in second year.
Speaker 2:It is difficult, it's very difficult, I think yeah, no, you you knew elias, uh, before uh, you know, yeah, but I didn't know these other people and, by the way, it was smooth, both were as smooth as possible experience, no arguments. I actually had more arguments with Elias than I did with the other two guys, because they were strangers. Elias I knew somewhere, I was friends with him. The other two guys I wasn't really friends with and they became good friends of mine knew someone I was friends with him. The other two guys I wasn't really friends with and they became, you know, good friends of mine, but I never had a conflict with them. You know it's like you set that precedence that we're going to fight the problem, not each other, and then if they do disrespect, you call them out for it. You don't mistake it, you don't become a victim. You know you can't have that mindset.
Speaker 1:Never be a victim, but always be nice.
Speaker 2:Be nice, yeah, be nice. And if you're nice, you know and you've got. I think it's about communication and you guys are going to make mistakes. Listen, at uni, you're going to make a lot of mistakes. I made a lot of stupid mistakes, like a lot of stupid mistakes, and you just learn. Don't dwell on them too long. I'm very guilty of this. Now I'm still learning the skill of not dwelling about the past and it does take time.
Speaker 2:But the more decisions you make, the more you put yourself out there. Of course, the more mistakes you're going to make. But the more well-rounded individual you're going to become, the better you're going to be at dealing with people. So when you want to run that company, you want to. You know, if you you're a very ambitious person and you've got big dreams, you're going to be what it's all about working with people.
Speaker 2:If you can't work with people, I don't care how smart and creative and all of those things you are, you won't get that far. Because if you're, if you're a bad, toxic person, yeah, you might make the money, but you'll be a very lonely and you'll live a very shit life, honestly. So you know, know, you got, you gotta. You gotta have goals bigger than yourself. You can't just live for yourself as well. You know, you gotta, you gotta take care of the people around you. Of course you shouldn't be become a yes man, because you need a lot of people, just want to please people, and then they you know, usually the people who are yes, yes men they then also expect something back. So you know, be very careful who you actually also get yeah from yes, men are dangerous fucking dangerous man because they might say we'll drop everything for you.
Speaker 2:They will do all of that shit, but then they want something back and they will mention. They will tell you oh, but I did that for you, bro, I've had that. You know, it's fucking crazy. I'm like, bro, have some fucking shalom man.
Speaker 1:That means shame, yeah uh, I think more so as well. Like which is directly relevant to yes men because people can do that without being yes men is they won't tell you what you need to hear. They won't really tell you, like the truth. Um, they'll tell you what you want to hear every single time, and that is really dangerous, especially if you're someone who has, like these, mental health struggles and things like that. I've seen so many friendship groups where their friends just encourage them to engage in worse behavior that will make their mental health and physical health even worse, and those kind of people you do need to stay away from. You need to figure out who will really be honest with you and tell you when you need to make changes or if you're going down the wrong path. Sorry, because everyone makes mistakes, but it's your circle that reminds you that you're making a mistake and helps you correct yourself. So stay away from the yes men and, yeah, the yes women too.
Speaker 2:For example, if weed is clearly making you more depressed, don't. If your friends is telling you, oh, you should, it's okay. Smoking weed is okay because it's not as addictive and it's you know, look at joe rogan, he's successful, he smokes weed then you need to ask yourself some serious questions. You know, um, I'm not saying, drop that friend, but you may not want to link them when they're smoking weed, and I've had to do that. It's got a couple of my friends where you know I don't, whenever they're doing that shit that their habits they are doing, I'm not there to be seen this light light.
Speaker 1:This light is making me look like I'm airbrushed bro.
Speaker 2:Yeah, man don't worry and and the bonus to be like wally. If you're Wally, you don't need any of this advice, it comes at default just go with it, it's not fair. It's life on easy mode. We all got it hard. If you're like Wally, you know that's my final advice. But yeah, this was a very good good chat. Wally, we'll round it up there. Good luck to everyone, and you're going to smash it. Don't stress like me, be like.
Speaker 1:Wally, if you have any other questions about university, just leave a comment below and we'll try and give you a response based on our experience have a nice thanks for watching. Thank you.
